S05E02 - Shag Him Again, Darling
In this episode we continue reading chapter two of "Zeroing In" by trylsora and then proceeds on to complete chapter three. Episode Summary Harry tells Ron and Hermione about his wild night. Ron is unbearable (as usual). Hermione advises Harry to masturbate a lot (for his health of course). Draco has a heart-to-heart with Pansy. Pairings * Draco/Harry * Hermione/Krum (implied) * Pansy/Blaise (implied) Notable Moments * Mention of GIRLS NIGHT! * Lyndsay's grandfather is also named Dana...which puts a whole weird level on this story for her, I imagine. * Allie is a fan of feminine male names (especially Ashley). * Lyndsay needs to have a clear mental image of the sex logistics. * The hosts rip into Hermione for thinking her life is so interesting that her not telling the boys about her vacation is a punishment. * Allie shockingly makes a Forgetting Sarah Marshall reference (which is not a 90's movie) * Allie gigglefest (unclear on what has struck her as so funny) * Seamus + Neville = Seaville (Shovel?) * Allie and Lyndsay discuss Dana's nipples and declare all nipples equal * Wands down for Ron being homophobic and Lyndsay is upset * Lyndsay (jokingly) accuses Allie of white-washing because she uses an American accent on "Mum". She then attempts to correct it and manages to make it even more American sounding. * Molly Weasley suddenly has a very thick Southern accent (initiated by Lyndsay and Danny this time) and is very open-minded about polyamory. * Allie mentions King of the Hill only to pronounce that she hates it and doesn't find it funny. * "'I'll show her that I'm not polyamorous. I'll bring 2 women home!' Genius" ~ Lyndsay, surprisingly bashing Ron a little. * "Molly Weasley always calls it a purple-headed yoghurt-slinger!" ~Allie * Questions about the specific functions/rules around Zerophilia continue to be raised. * The hosts lose it when Pansy makes an appearance - cue Dansy voice! (and also a mark on the hosts' WANGO! board) * Gasping Lyndsay * They lose it again (and sing "Blaise is in the house!") when Blaise is mentioned * Lyndsay develops an eleborate conspiracy theory, in which Blaise and Pansy getting together has been an evil plot by Blaise set up in Season 2 when he set up Draco and Hermione using Amortentia. ** Being with Blaise has made Pansy slightly evil (tells Dana to sleep with Harry again to switch back to Dana and strand Harry as "Harriet") * Hosts question how Harry did not notice the entire time he and Dana/Draco were hooking up that he was switching back and forth, even with a blind fold on. * Danny compares blindfolded cunnilingus to bobbing for apples * Lyndsay proposes that it would be cool if Harry's scar glowed in the dark or under blacklight. * Dubious consent: Harry did not knowingly consent to all aspects of his hookup with Dana/Draco. * Danny's Pansy voice kind of unravels a bit. * Lyndsay works out the sex logistics required for both Draco and Harry to impregnate each other and live happily ever after as a family. Lyndsay makes a Twins reference. Allie then mentions something about twins separated at birth and finding each other years later at a bar with one dressed as a vampire and another dressed as a mummy? (not sure whether this is an actual movie or if Allie was just pitching a movie idea she has...I'd watch it) * "Draco shows Pansy to the door, hugging hughorning her." ~ Allie * Danny tries to remove some of the stigma attached to zerophilia. He doesn't see it as a disease. Lyndsay is put to rights, but seems to have pinpointed the "antidick" (antidote) * The hosts are ecstatic that Pansy calls Draco/Dana "Darling" again * Burner Owl reference * "What a sweet way to talk about masturbation, 'Mom, I was just doing therapy!'" ~ Lyndsay * Reference to Ron having sex with Harry in Quickie 10. * Hermione, as usual, is 17 steps ahead of Harry and is already starting to work out that they probably know Dana. * Lie by omission is still a lie. * "This is not consent-y"~Lyndsay * We hear a beautiful rendition of the "Wands Up Wands Down" song by Potterotic Paul. Wands Up or Down? * Allie: neutral ** up for Pansy and her friendship with Draco ** loved Hermione being typical Hermione ** props to the creativity of the story. ** but no sex... * Lyndsay: up ** up for Pansy being pregnant by Blaise ** slightly down for the portrayal of Ron ** up because it sounds like Hermione and Harry will have sex ** up for Molly's openness and acceptance of polyamory * Danny: up ** for Pansy ** liked how the author incorporated exposition (questions around Zerophilia) into the dialogue Potterotics Shout-Outs * Megan was the first Wango winner! * UncleAragog78 provides an awesome version of the Wands Up or Wands Down song with piano accompaniment which the hosts play. Category:Episodes Category:Season 5 Category:2 Wands Up Category:2018 Category:Reader: Allie Category:Allie: Hoftie Category:Lyndsay: Up Category:Danny: Up